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View Full Version : The Greatest of all Indignities



Procyon
02-10-2012, 07:48 AM
Firstly, as a newbie I want to say thanks to all who have posted throughout this forum. Itís been extremely helpful!

I started the game with not much strategy, just merrily leveling up to 20, having lots of cash laying around, until I suffered my first huge raid. A gold player got about $500k in a few raids. Again, was a even more of a newbie then saying things like ďWhatís this vault thing? Yeh, 5K should be enough.Ē I felt so used after that raid that I felt like I needed a shower.

After that experience I found this forum and have somewhat diligently raised my defense, increased the funds in my vault, etc. Boring and time consuming, but the only major losses have been to gold players as I try to get back on track.

But today my greatest fear was realized Ė I was raided by a gold player and lost 136,178. Looked at his inventory: 1 Gladiator Anti-Air Tank, 1 Raptor and 2 Chocolate Submarines.

Raptor-fine. Gladiator Tank-whatever.

BUT THE FUNDS I COLLECTED THROUGH MY HARD WORK WERE TAKEN BY TWO CHOCOLATE SUBMARINES?!

Funzio: I choose not to be a gold player but I understand the reasoning for those who want to use real money to purchase inventory and that you deserve to make some sort of money out of this (although it just doesnít feel right to pit money players v. non-money players, so be it) . But to make me suffer the indignity of having to lose those kinds of funds to an army that includes two Valentine's themed CHOCOLATE SUBMARINES goes too far!

And by the way, the vision of your cocoa-based submersible ship rising to the water's surface to bomb my base conjurs up a cetain pool scene from Caddyshack. Nice.

I knock on wood I donít find out but Iím hoping the pink Love Bomber truly does drop rose petals. Also, if a player wants to get the 290 Attack and 161 Defense from Cupidís Nuclear Arrow they should at least also have to purchase an enormous cherub to shoot the thing.

Chocolate Submarine? Nuclear Arrow? Love Bomber? Hmm. What would Freud say?

Hugh Bris
02-10-2012, 08:08 AM
Descriptions had me spitting out my coffee laughing so hard. Well written!!

Agent Orange
02-10-2012, 08:20 AM
I guess the final indignity will be seeing McDocs telephone pole.

Wildfire
02-10-2012, 09:33 AM
I guess the final indignity will be seeing McDocs telephone pole.

Aye, it's presumably the weapon of choice for the "Agent of Love"!

Mcdoc
02-10-2012, 01:04 PM
LoL - leave my pole out of this :)

Tanner
02-10-2012, 01:56 PM
+3 "Phallicies"

Tanner
02-10-2012, 01:57 PM
for Funzio dev's ;)

I'm glad to see that they're allowed SOME kind of creative outlet.

Sepi
02-11-2012, 12:31 AM
Great post Procyon, haha! XD

Speed ump
02-11-2012, 01:29 AM
Don't like the names, but I do like the specs, bought a few of each.

Maverick50727
02-11-2012, 09:25 AM
Yes, I haven't had time to read many posts recently, but LMAO. I thought I was going to fall out of my chair. Agent Orange and Mcdoc, you guys are just too funny. I agree we needed a good laugh while most of us can't PvP.

HGF69
02-11-2012, 09:47 AM
It's becoming more like Farmville every week, love bombers!!! Is Donald Sutherland one of the developers?

nighthunter
02-11-2012, 03:56 PM
or Modern Builders

Wildfire
02-11-2012, 05:21 PM
or chocolate soldiers

frenda
02-23-2012, 08:25 AM
Best Drill Instructor I ever had was nicknamed "Chocolate Thunder"... Great thread, really funny!

Agent Orange
02-23-2012, 08:35 AM
Best Drill Instructor I ever had was nicknamed "Chocolate Thunder"... Great thread, really funny!

Samuel L Jackson's evil twin?

frenda
02-23-2012, 08:37 AM
Samuel L Jackson's evil twin?

Pretty much, lol. The nickname was originally given to Darryl Dawkins of NBA fame. SFC Dawkins naturally inherited the nickname, but he definitely owned it too. :) Saw him later during Desert Storm and he'd made Sergeant Major. I think Funzio needs to make a unit named after him with kickass attack and defend stats. I'd spend gold on that! :)

Ramshutu
02-24-2012, 07:29 AM
The only way Funzio can counter the Chocolate Submarine is to introduce a Fondue Trooper.

twchung22
02-24-2012, 07:45 AM
I wonder what Funzio will come up with on National Sex Day, 6/9...

https://www.facebook.com/pages/National-Sex-Day-69/161637737230414

Agent Orange
02-24-2012, 08:45 AM
I wonder what Funzio will come up with on National Sex Day, 6/9...

https://www.facebook.com/pages/National-Sex-Day-69/161637737230414

Brothles and hookers with a side of STD's?

Procyon
02-24-2012, 11:36 AM
Brothles and hookers with a side of STD's?

Would you then need to upgrade your infirmary to be able to purchase Blue Star ointment and penicillin?