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02-18-2013, 07:08 PM
Part 1.

Tonight at 8 on the Oprah Network The First Ever VFF Awards Show.

Highlighting such memorable moments by genre...

The epic beating of Jason over 1500 times!
CBR's valiant stand against Whiskry Tango Foxtrot
JB's chicken with his head cut off routine during the Seal Team Six battle.
CBR's announced retirement.
Urbz dancing to Goodbye Horses

Tune in here tonight for the first ever VFF Award Show!

Part 2.
Hi there!
This is Jason reporting from the first ever VFF Charlie Awards Ceremony. You might remember me from such battles as Nelson's Victory and the battle for Potatoland.
We are here on the orange carpet watching everyone slowly mingle in.

First to arrive is urbz, sporting a tuxedo and riding a pink hyabusa. A security guard was overheard chastising the guest as he stated " Mister Urbz, you can't ride that in here!" To which this reporter definitely heard the response "Me no speaky English!" With a smile urbz rolled into the auditorium.

Oh here comes a convoy of motor vehicles. In the lead a blue charger, a gray f-150 with a silver bike in the bed, and a charcoal jeep wrangler. Wait is that a magical clown in the back of the f-150?!?!

YES YES I am getting word that it is elangomatt, kemper hauling zoltar, and general double Dan.

We will keep you posted as more party goers arrive.

Live from the VFFC Award Ceremony, I am Jason Henry

Part 3

We have just recieved word that there will be some notable absences tonight.
Rumor has it cbr has left for his vacation home in the south of France.
P-tech and Brigalow are also candidates to miss the action tonight. But with people as unpredictable this faction; one can never tell!

The champagne is flowing and unless I miss my guess that 8 foot fountain is spraying diet coca-cola. The decorations are really spectacular as the halls are decorated with images of the battles. This party is getting underway!"

Live from the VFFC Award Ceremony I am Jason Henry

Part 4

Jason again here!
Kris showed up about 5 minutes ago with his beautiful red mustang.

WAIT WAIT WE ARE GETTING WORD. A long stretch Humvee limousine is pulling up! This has to be the don and JB, yes, yes it is! And of course their entourage of P-Diddy Puffskeins, Seal, and Dido.

It really is shaping up to be a wild night!

02-18-2013, 07:12 PM
Part 5. Urbz
LOL MAN ))) your crazy ....cant wait for all this great hot shots be here for the ceremony to start ...i hope all this great guys have a speech ready )))

Part 6.

Hello again!
Jason here giving you an update on the guest list.

Three limousines have just pulled away, it seems that captain big, mark and and silverhawk have joined the party!

Also in attendance are Stephen, John, soviet and c!" I didn't see their rides but it is really rolling now.

Eagleeye has just rolled up with his own theme music blaring "big pimpin by Jay-z" he is now proceeding to yell "where my hoes at?!?" This party is off the hook!

Rumor has it that the faction leader ordered. Ferrari cake to be delivered.
With a little less than an hour until the awards ceremony things are really going well!

Live from the VFFC Awards Show I'm Jason Henry

Part 7

Hi there Jason again!
Cassius, one of the newest members just arrived with his family. I hope he knows this may be a night of debauchery.

Ntr4nce, walle, statik and rek rolled up in what appears to be three murdered out Isettas. I have never seen gold spinners on an Isetta before.

Hold on a minute. Is that a white carriage drawn by four palominos? Yes it is! Who could it be? More after this break.

Live from the VFFC Awards Show I'm Jason Henry

Part 8
After that short break I can confirm that the horse drawn carriage contained none other than our lads across the lake, sillybeans and dj maj.

I have to say ladies and gentlemen this is a most romantic sight.

With over half the faction in attendance this shindig is really a sight to behold.
I'm told shortly that Brian Adams will be coming on stage in the next 15 minutes to do the preaward concert.

Fivestars has rolled up in his vintage 1986 Schwinn Mesa, the valets are confused as it appears that one of them doesn't know how to ride a 12 speed.

More notable entrants are hill, pancake, and clout who have just arrived via taxi.

Live from the VFFC Awards Show I'm Jason Henry

Part 9

Hello Again, Jason here!

It appear that auditorium is packed!
Commander Iron balls landed a chopper on my jeep.
Ryan was dropped off by a man in a pimp suit.
Lars showed up, didn't see his car but saw too much in those bicycle shorts.
Bernie parked is cutlass on the curb in front of the auditorium.
Whorse has arrived, but was lost in the throngs of the crowd.
Bond showed up in his 007 attire, I hope he isn't mixing alcohol and his Walther again.

The split personality of Mitchell and Raider just walked by me arguing the difference between eggs benedict and a mcmuffin. This frankly had this reporter stunned.

Cbr, ptech and brigalow are still MIA but we will be on the lookout for them.

Our last arrival is dee who showed up in fine alligator skin boots and what can only be described as a fedora made of some sort of small varmint. I really wish he would put pants on.

The gang is all here Bryan Adams has started his warm-ups and tuning on stage.

Will report back in a few.

Live from the VFFC Awards Show I'm Jason Henry

Part 10.

Hello friends Report Jason here.

Bryan Adams is rocking to Everything I do.

Cassius sent his family home and is now with JB, and don are doing shots at the bar.

Dan has joined maddog in doing the robot, which seems like an inappropriate dance to this song.

Mitchell is still arguing with his alter ego. I can't make out the conversation this time.

Maj and sillybeans are doing a romantic slow dance.

Ryan is sitting in the corner playing wallflower.

We really are jamming now!

I think eagle and Aaron are arm wrestling in the corner.

Captain Big and silverhawk appear to be pantomiming Bryan Adams in a Milli Vanilla esque display. It seems to be delighting Bryan Adams.

Dee was nearly arrested for public indecency, he is now wearing urbz chaps.

We'll see if we can get an interview in with some of the main players.

Live from the VFFC Awards Show I'm Jason Henry

Part 11
Will there be more on the epic beatdown of the guy they call Jason? Guess the party needs to get into full swing first. Let me get that bottle service going

Jb: you want to put it on your tab or mine?

02-18-2013, 07:20 PM
Part 12

Welcome back to the First Ever VFF Charlie Award show. This is Jason Henry reporting for the Oprah Network.

Breaking News!

The first award has been announced!

The award for •Best Defense in Show• goes to CBR!!!!

Here to accept the award on his behalf is ME!

"Thank you ladies and gentlemen! I am honored to accept this award on behalf of CBR who is off to his well earned Vacation. I know if he were here he would be terse and brief, and so shall I. Thank You again!"

Live from the VFFC Awards Show I'm Jason Henry

Part 13
CBR CBR CBR CBR ....I'm half way drunk chanting Cbr

Part 14
A round of drinks for everyone at the bar!! A toast to the mighty CBR!! I like that award, better lock it up or it may disappear before the night is through?!?

May your shield always protect us wherever you may roam as you will always have a home!!

Part 15
Does bryan Adams take request? A little Brandy by Looking Glass please.

Part 16
shouting at Dons toast yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Part 17

Hello everyone! Jason again.

A quick interview with the don.

Q: Hello the don, or do you prefer Keith?
A: it's The don! Don't forget it!

Q: My apologies. Congratulations on scoring (number removed) points. Was it fun?
a: The lead up to Greenland and the first two days of the event was great. There was a ton of comradrie and team work, people taking out their aggression on the enemy, following orders, and reporting in on time(for the most part.)

Q: What was your most memorable moment?
A: When i asked Gen Mitchell if Raider was with him and replied of course!
Also, VFF Charlie getting a new mascot!

Q: A new mascot?
A: Yes! Baby Blake Kemper.

Q: Anything else?
A: Oh yes, urbz's handiwork with photoshop.

Q: Did you have any regrets or sad moments?
A: Yes, three things really stood out the first was hearing about Brigalow's tractor.
The second was GDD catching a cold from Gunnery Sergeant.

Q: Not to interrupt, but how did you think that happened?
A: Well to be honest, Dan is a handsome man, and we all know GS isn't picky.

Q: What was the third thing?
A: Hearing about CBR's last dance, I will admit, I teared up a bit.

Q: And!
A: Hey man I gotta to, JB just challenged me to a game of quarters.

Well folks I guess that is all from The Don, he left in a lurch.

Thanks Again Folks, I am Jason Henry with the Oprah Network covering the first ever VFF Award Ceremony.

Part 18

Breaking News!!!
I am Jason Henry!

The award for •Most Donations During Event• has been announced and the winner is General Kemper with $116,900,000

Congratulations Kemper on this award and for providing us with a new mascot!

This was Jason Henry with the Oprah Network covering the first ever VFF Awards Ceremony.

Part 19
CBR CBR CBR CBR ....getting all emotional...lost my shirt by now ...Ryan its trying to tell me its Kemper who got the award....

Part 20

Im rolling!!!

What says Dan, the handsome Man? Who is getting interviewed next?

Part 21

Welcome back everyone!
I am Jason Henry here with JB for a quick Q&A.

Q: Welcome JB, how are you liking the ceremony?
A: It is awesome, free booze, music, people acting the fool.

Q: How was the Battle for Greenland?
A: Absolutelt Amazing

Q: What is your favorite color?
A: Blue

Q: You know geniuses pick green? Half of green is blue. Are you a half genius?
A: Shut up *****!

Q: Alright then, continuing on. What was your happiest memory of Greenland?
A: Declaring war for the first time

Q: What was YOUR saddest moment?
A: Running out of gold and not getting my bonus in time

Q: Any other observations?
A: It's much colder in North Carolina than it is in Florida.

Q: Who won the quarters game between you and the don?
A: It's on a time out cus of this dumbass interview.

Q: Well thanks for the comments, I will let you get back to your game.
A: Bout time!

A man of few words

I'm Jason Henry reporting live from the VFF Awards Cermony, I will be back at 9:00 for the next award.

Part 22
I'm literally in a team house with a bunch of grizzled old team guys...giggling like a kid in a candy store.

I think a little piss squirted out with the inappropriate robot dancing line...wow, can't wait till the after party!

P.S. Don...order as many bottles as you want! I got you!

Part 23
You are out of control! This is hilarious!

By the way, Raider didn't even know what eggs Benedict is. Dumb ass!

Part 24
Free booze? JB & the Don told me they were paying for my drinks!

Oh well, it's all good, I took my Valtrex earlier and gonna do some jaggerbombs next!

Part 25

Breaking News!!!

After the last interview the party was crashed by Brigalow. He finally made it to the event and in a grand entrance singing at the top of his lungs "She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy by Kenny Chesney."

More to follow!

Jason from the Oprah Network reporting live from the VFF Awards Ceremony.

Part 26

Welcome back AGAIN to the VFF Awards Ceremony, I'm Jason Henry.

The next award up is for •Most Scouting Done During Greenland•

And the letter is being opened...

The winner is...

The Don! For most scouting done during the event!

Way to go The Don! Hope you can tear yourself away from the quarters game to accept your award! We will see if he has any comments or speeches.

Once again, I'm Jason Henry reporting to you live for the Oprah Network.

Part 27
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!!

But this great award would not have been possible without my groupies, 'The Wall Climbers', The DL hitters, Urbz, Gen Mitchell/ Raider( i always get those two confused), and my right hand man, JB..

Wait one second folks, JB is telling me that he actually had more recon missions than me during Greenland and he can prove it..

Lets get him another drink..

Back to you Jason!!

Part 28
And (hiccup), I'd like to personally nominate urbz for (hiccup) the first annual Kamikaze Award! For bravely (hiccup) charging into....HEY, WHERE'S MY DRINK?!

Part 29
Welcome friends and family to the first ever VFF Charlie Award Ceremony brought to you live from the auditorium!

The final interview we have for the evening is with urbz, the Romanian Rockstar.

Q: Hello urbz, nice bike, how are you this evening.
A: I am fine, and you?

Q: Doing well, thank you. You are so polite.
A: You're welcome.

Q: How do you like VFF Charlie?
A: Would never join another faction.... even though, I think it's too serious for me.

Q: Well we love having you. Why did you join VFF Charlie?
A: At this point with all this shots....good question

Q: I didn't quite understand that last comment, but oh well. Who is your favorite VFF officer?
A: I'm really torn appart here ...bromance

Q: We have all been there. Where did you get your pink Hyabusa?
A: Got it as a present from....I think her name was JLo?

Q: Very nice! Thank you for your time. I would also like to warn you that General Double Dan, the don, and JB are planning a practical joke on you.
A: Pantalonii mei sunt pe foc!

I think that means Thank You and Goodbye.

I'm Jason Henry reporting live from the VFF Awards Cermony, I will be back at 9:30 for the next award.

02-18-2013, 07:26 PM
Part 30
lol great translation last one )) my pants are on fire )))

Part 31

Welcome back to the 95th annual VFF Charlie Awards Show.
I am your host Jason Henry.

The final results are in for the last prize of the night; •Most Attacks During Battle for Greenland•

After final tabulations with (number removed) WD points! The winner is JB!
We will see if he is coherent enough to take the podium for a few words.

Your faithful reporter Jason A. Henry reporting to you live from the Auditorium for the Oprah Network. We will be sporadically checking in with you throughout the night as we see this party lasting a while.

Part 32
(Audible crash as jb takes the podium) "I'm alright, I'm alright! Can somebody get me a drink! Ok, now where was I? I just want to thank my mom, and than the peop dat waz with zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.................. ........

Part 33
Woot woot, CBR is in the house! Get this man a shot!

Part 34
Can somebody help me get this guy off the stage, hes drooling on the mic! kemper; on three, grab his legs!!

Part 36
the party its not over....yo Don where u going?...damn....sillybeans ...where Dons going

Part 37
Wait one second folks!!

Im hearing rumour that there might be a final award to give out?? This one goes to our fearless gun toting, cigar smokin, a bit of an insomniac leader..

Jason: You have the hardest job of all and you do it so well.. Thanks for keeping us on the right path and maintaining a healthy level of brevity

Urbz: Can you unveil the award?

Part 39
My award image

Part 40
This is awesome!

But why did I show up in a taxi?

O well. Better luck next war.

Part 41

Could not wait untill tonight to raise a glass to Charlie and especially CBR so I am cracking one for the team now (well that's my excuse and I am sticking to it)

Part 42
Oh you guys!!!
I don't deserve an award. I really don't. I just do some basic accounting and morale officer work. You guys are the heart and soul of the faction. But Thank You!!

Your Humble Servant
Jason A. Henry

Part 43
Claps, hoots, hollers!!!

Double Dan embracing Gunnery Sergeant in a slightly awkward and prolonged embrace congratulating him on his new trophy....

Part 44

Part 45
Pancake, I told clout the same thing I'll tell you. I am only so funny. I spent my last humorous ride on the murdered out Isettas with spinners

If you don't know what an Isetta is, the Urkel mobile.


Part 46

The after party!

02-18-2013, 08:52 PM
Wooohoooo! Keep the bubbly flowing!

02-18-2013, 09:32 PM
Brown chicken brown cow!!