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View Full Version : If Gree was an airline ......fill in the blank



thundarr
05-07-2014, 06:00 AM
1. Pay toilets
2. Paid Oxygen
3. Pay to use the top bin and space under your seat
4. Pay TV unless you watch 2 hours of sponsored videos
5. Free first class upgrades for those who have spent over 100k on a Gree game
6. Pay for all luggage $1+/ pound
7. If you weigh over 100lbs $1/pound
8. Locked window shades unless you pay
9. Seat cushions extra
10. Arm rest extra
11. Seat belt extra
12. Pay to use light over your seat
13. Free internet to play Gree provided you spend at least $100/flight
14. Flight attendants pass around the hat before flight
15. Entry fee
16. Exit fee
17. No bringing food on, pay inflated prices for Gree "approved" snacks

I don't know
05-07-2014, 06:09 AM
This is awesome!

Crippled cow
05-07-2014, 06:25 AM
18. Pay a ticket without information of the end destination.
19. Pay a ticket from London to NY. After inflation the fare only takes you to Reykjavik.

rookstar
05-07-2014, 06:36 AM
20) It wouldn't get off the ground

DFI
05-07-2014, 07:04 AM
21) ugly, fat and obnoxious stewardesses on US airlines

MaverickINsc
05-07-2014, 07:04 AM
immediately raise my life insurance benefits.....make sure I told my wife and kids I loved them before every take off

1S1K
05-07-2014, 07:27 AM
immediately raise my life insurance benefits.....make sure I told my wife and kids I loved them before every take off

Ha! That's perfect!

Sinisterclick
05-07-2014, 08:16 AM
You'd all have to flap your arms ....

Twist of Cain
05-07-2014, 08:17 AM
I think I would rather take a bus.

Thief
05-07-2014, 08:19 AM
I would never Fly

Think of all the Glitches....it would be a miracle if you either ever got off the ground let alone managed to make it to your destination in one piece.

Tiz
05-07-2014, 08:32 AM
22) The FAA would ground all flights.

NOTpaisthecoolest
05-07-2014, 09:21 AM
23) you would have unlimited energy because you would be playing on airplane mode

steelhead
05-07-2014, 09:35 AM
At least gree plane has nice and good passengers. But they need a marshall in first class. Some of the first class passengers can't get along. The rest of us in economy are fine. Lol

VikingsVoice
05-07-2014, 09:36 AM
All of their staff would have special needs

rscary
05-07-2014, 10:06 AM
If gree was an airline I would stay away, its bound to crash.

whitefire
05-07-2014, 11:10 AM
..we'd all be dead. period.

Speed ump
05-07-2014, 11:16 AM
You pay to crash and burn.

Maverick0073
05-07-2014, 12:18 PM
The company would never get off the ground....get it

David Steelman
05-07-2014, 01:43 PM
24, there would be a glitch with my ticket n no way to reach customer support before the take off.

DILL3NGER
05-07-2014, 02:06 PM
They'd be lost in the Indian Ocean somewhere.

CJ54
05-07-2014, 02:11 PM
1. Pay toilets
2. Paid Oxygen
3. Pay to use the top bin and space under your seat
4. Pay TV unless you watch 2 hours of sponsored videos
5. Free first class upgrades for those who have spent over 100k on a Gree game
6. Pay for all luggage $1+/ pound
7. If you weigh over 100lbs $1/pound
8. Locked window shades unless you pay
9. Seat cushions extra
10. Arm rest extra
11. Seat belt extra
12. Pay to use light over your seat
13. Free internet to play Gree provided you spend at least $100/flight
14. Flight attendants pass around the hat before flight
15. Entry fee
16. Exit fee
17. No bringing food on, pay inflated prices for Gree "approved" snacks

Have you been on an airline recently? Some of these are either already happening or are pretty darn close to.

Mcm2013
05-07-2014, 02:47 PM
if gree was an airline......id land them in the ocean

Bobar
05-07-2014, 02:56 PM
they would find new places and land in "Zamia"

ground staff would not talk with the flight crew, pilots not talking with cabin crew. so stewardess would welcome us on the flight to New York, Pilot would welcome us on the flight to Hongkong.

every now and then ground control would think the plane is hijacked as they have no connection to server - ehm no radio connection with the plane

Gerard Figallo
05-07-2014, 03:56 PM
25) you would have too give the airline your luggage in exchange for less luggage than before (if this makes no sense than neither does Full Assault)

reesiepuff
05-07-2014, 04:18 PM
26) Flight 370 deja vu

Mcm2013
05-07-2014, 05:33 PM
i accidentally bought a ticket to the wrong place and i leave tomorrow....................we are sorry to hear this we will get back to you as soon as we can......................2-6 weeks later sorry we can now change the destination

FromAfar
05-07-2014, 05:40 PM
more the just side of mountains would be littered with wreckage.

malaysia air would be considered a huge step up.

Mcdoc
05-07-2014, 05:55 PM
27) Thier Passenger. Planes full of Infanry soldiers would crash into Cargo Ships carrying Tanks!

WBS
05-07-2014, 06:47 PM
28) It would crash on the Canadian/USA border and they wouldn't know where to bury the survivors

Dragon11216
05-07-2014, 06:51 PM
Flights would never take off. They can't figure out a calendar!

Mastert55!
05-07-2014, 07:03 PM
Yes, it is still too soon.

Robespierre
05-07-2014, 11:53 PM
29) slot machines on the back of all of the chairs.

30) Genen and Speed join the mile high club with each other.

31) they lose your luggage, and the dude at the counter say that they are passing on your feedback to the development team

32) There are 30 members of the ground crew walking in a 10' by 10' space doing absolutely nothing

33) the airplanes are fueled by your children's tears from you not being in their life; instead you're glued to your phone

Apollo13
05-08-2014, 12:18 AM
This is too funny. The leveling up is like frequent fliers points. Lol.

Cuombajj
05-08-2014, 12:21 AM
35) Flight is free. But you have to pay mid way or jump off the plane with a parachute.
36) Fly to Toronto, land in LA, go to hotel to sleep, wake up in Alaska.

HenryVIII
05-08-2014, 08:18 AM
37) Where airline employees sit with their passengers in the first class section. ;-)
Or
38) Where first class passengers are secretly airline employees!

{Kill Joy}
07-03-2014, 12:59 AM
....be in the Hudson.

....it'd be doomed

....down faster than a hooker looking for a fix

bam bam.
07-03-2014, 12:59 AM
Have you been on an airline recently? Some of these are either already happening or are pretty darn close to.

Haha only a gree employee would think this was about airlines lol.

The planes wouldn't crash as no one there would be competent enough to start an airplane. They would forget to fuel it any how. They would then blame their customers for not understanding the actual product, then go on to explain how they in no way contribute to the mass confusion by never releasing useful information.

They would charge by the breath for air.

Danger Mouse
07-03-2014, 01:16 AM
You would buy a ticket for London online, and wait 6 months for the tickets to be delivered - to your neighbors instead. Your neighbour is a disused parking lot with no street address or name;
Arrive at the airport in New York and be told that your fare now only gets you as far as Greenland and you need to upgrade; the guy in front of you gets told he is going as far as Tokyo in the other direction and the guy behind you gets ignored for days before being told he isn’t going anywhere and here’s a refund for 10% of the ticket.
Arrive at the gate only to be told the flight is delayed, you need to pay extra for fuel for it to leave on time, and after 3 days waiting for fuel be told that you’re now at the wrong gate anyway. All of which you should know if you would just read the notice board posted at the Baghdad Internet Cafe in Tehran.
Get on the plane to be told you’re now heading for Buenos Aires and need to pay extra for a seat;
Sit on the tarmac for 7 days then change planes but only if you buy another ticket;
Captain announces that all is clear for take off and you will be on your way to Sydney without further delay;
Sit on the tarmac for 7 days then change planes but only if you buy another ticket;
Finally depart for Beijing after paying extra for using your seat for the past 14 days and the expected further 27 days the flight will take. Your ticket says the flight will take 23 days and the cabin announcement wishes you a pleasant 28 day journey.
Duty Free* Alcohol Sales are open to minors who have to bid on the bottle contents before opening. There's a 1% chance of bourbon, 3% chance of wine, 5% chance of beer and a 137% chance it's empty. Getting nine bottles is fairly simple but bidding on the 10th has been known to bankrupt small countries for no result;
Land in Cairo, but be told only half the plane can disembark and only if they can show their tickets to Jakarta purchased at the Honolulu counter. If the tickets can’t be produced they can be purchased online but only by those using the latest iOs devices. As you have a Kindle you set fire to it and send smoke signals to *Gree HQ who cycle couriers you a ticket to Hamburg from their Reykjavik office, but it can only be used on an Android device.
Sit on the tarmac for 7 days then change planes but only if you buy another ticket;
Take off for Johannesburg, stopping off in Helsinki for cash refills, before flying round and round in circles for months because the landing gear is broken and needs gold tyres to be fitted on the fly every half hour. Finally you land in the dark, the doors don't open and no one announces where you are or answers the many calls for help and questions about what's happening shouted by the passengers - You strongly suspect the cockpit is empty for the weekend;
Get off the plane in Buffalo and decide to hitchhike back to New York rather than reboard the flight to Timbuktu, without, of course, your wallet, your *Duty Free purchases for the past 2 years or your baggage.

(* - Duty Free and Gree are trademarks of Overcharging Bull Pty Ltd, a subsidiary of Overpriced Bull Pty Ltd incorporated in Panama and living in the Caymans).

Suspect5
07-03-2014, 01:22 AM
peanuts would cost $99.99 but when you opened them you would only have a 1% chance of them being peanuts otherwise raisins....Sorry better luck next time

bam bam.
07-03-2014, 01:22 AM
Lmao^^^ mouse you know gree too well. I think u have nailed mate. You jus got to add a gambling aspect for the children on the plane and that would b gree airlines all the way

Danger Mouse
07-03-2014, 01:26 AM
Lmao^^^ mouse you know gree too well. I think u have nailed mate. You jus got to add a gambling aspect for the children on the plane and that would b gree airlines all the way

Dang, knew I'd forgot something! ;)

2000y2k
07-03-2014, 07:57 AM
Apple would provide travel insurance but would be bankrupt before the end of the first month.

lemonhaze
07-03-2014, 08:10 AM
immediately raise my life insurance benefits.....make sure I told my wife and kids I loved them before every take off

HAHA yea for sure bc they would be a glitch that would bring down the plane

Dog bite
07-03-2014, 08:45 PM
1) Their plane would be named Titanic
2) Customer support would be a pole inserted in your ...
3) They would cancel your flight directly after take off

Rookeye
07-03-2014, 09:43 PM
You would buy a ticket for London online, and wait 6 months for the tickets to be delivered - to your neighbors instead. Your neighbour is a disused parking lot with no street address or name;
Arrive at the airport in New York and be told that your fare now only gets you as far as Greenland and you need to upgrade; the guy in front of you gets told he is going as far as Tokyo in the other direction and the guy behind you gets ignored for days before being told he isnít going anywhere and hereís a refund for 10% of the ticket.
Arrive at the gate only to be told the flight is delayed, you need to pay extra for fuel for it to leave on time, and after 3 days waiting for fuel be told that youíre now at the wrong gate anyway. All of which you would know if you would just read the notice posted at the Baghdad Internet Cafe in Tehran.
Get on the plane to be told youíre now heading for Buenos Aires and need to pay extra for a seat;
Sit on the tarmac for 7 days then change planes but only if you buy another ticket;
Captain announces that all is clear for take off and you will be on your way to Sydney without further delay;
Sit on the tarmac for 7 days then change planes but only if you buy another ticket;
Finally depart for Beijing after paying extra for using your seat for the past 14 days and the expected further 27 days the flight will take. Your ticket says the flight will take 23 days and the cabin announcement wishes you a pleasant 28 day journey.
Duty Free* Alcohol Sales are open to minors who have to bid on the bottle contents before opening. There's a 1% chance of bourbon, 3% chance of wine, 5% chance of beer and a 137% chance it's empty. Getting nine bottles is fairly simple but bidding on the 10th has been known to bankrupt small countries for no result;
Land in Cairo, but be told only half the plane can disembark and only if they can show their tickets to Jakarta purchased at the Honolulu counter. If the tickets canít be produced they can be purchased online but only by those using the latest iOs devices. As you have a Kindle you set fire to it and send smoke signals to *Gree HQ who cycle couriers you a ticket to Hamburg from their Reykjavik office, but it can only be used on an Android device.
Sit on the tarmac for 7 days then change planes but only if you buy another ticket;
Take off for Johannesburg, stopping off in Helsinki for cash refills, before flying round and round in circles for months because the landing gear is broken and needs gold tyres to be fitted on the fly every half hour. Finally you land in the dark, the doors don't open and no one announces where you are. You strongly suspect the cockpit is empty for the weekend;
Get off the plane in Buffalo and decide to hitchhike back to New York rather than reboard the flight to Timbuktu, without, of course, your wallet, your *Duty Free purchases for the past 2 years or your baggage.

(* - Duty Free and Gree are trademarks of Overcharging Bull Pty Ltd, a subsidiary of Overpriced Bull Pty Ltd incorporated in Panama and living in the Caymans).

Whether or not it's true, it's funny as hell. ;) Thanks for the LOLZ!

Spazer
07-04-2014, 06:51 AM
If Gree was an airline.....
I would be super extremely surprised if they even have a real working plane!
I wouldn't be believe my eyes if there is a pilot on board.
I wouldn't be surprised at all if there were no seats on the airplane
I would be shocked and surprised if Gree's plane even took off.
I wouldn't be surprised that passengers had to pay millions of dollars on a short flight and they are treated like a slave.
I would be surprised if Gree hired a real pilot who knew little bit about airplane!
I wouldn't be surprised if Gree's flight is run by a dictatorship such as by flight attendants
Finally...
I wouldn't be surprised if people tried to sue the airline.

Mabel
07-04-2014, 08:57 AM
They couldn't provide enough barf bags to deal with turbulence

ScrewThis
07-05-2014, 02:38 AM
If Gree were an airline, first they'd auction the tickets.

Those who pay more than what they earn sit in first class.
Those who pay a lot but can't afford first sit in business class.
Those who pay something but not too much sit in premium economy.
Those who pay nothing sit in economy.

Once you're airborne, you get ready for your nap but the captain announces that there will be lots of fun games to play - which you have to pay extra for if you want to finish, and only those who do well all the time get to keep their seats. Go to the toilet or take a nap, and you will find you've not done well enough. You are demoted a class. And it is really difficult to get into a higher class because like any airline, they give preference to those who sit up front.

Problem is, the captain doesn't tell you how the games work so there is mass confusion. And usually there is something wrong with the games but the captain can't fix it. Nor can the stewardesses, who make you feel as if they are there to help you but in fact they are indifferent and know less about the plane than most of the ordinary passengers. And one is never around when you need them most.

And the games get more expensive as time goes in, because the captain realises he has managed to create a culture of fear: those in first are so scared of moving down a class that they will pay almost anything to stay away from the ordinary riffraff.

Some people start to feel ignored and exploited. But they can't get out of the plane. So they look, think and plan, and find ways of cheating the game. The captain and stewardesses can't see them because they're too busy counting the money coming in. So our band of cheaters start to move up the class system. This creates even more competition. The captain is delighted. He hears rumours of cheats but also sees this is driving up real spending, so he makes the only logical business choice and ignores what's happening.

Meanwhile, the honest folks start to get upset. They press the call sign to complain to the stewardesses but get ignored. Or when a stewardess does arrive, they are given a smile before being ignored again.

Some of these people get so frustrated that they stand up and yell, "cheat, cheat, cheat!" or complain about the terrible service. This always results in a barrage of stewardesses descending on the poor fella, who is then ejected from the plane unceremoniously and without a chute. If others come to his defence they meet the same fate.

Meanwhile the majority of the passengers have now cottoned on to the fact that they have been royally duped. But they are trapped in a steel cylinder hurtling at hundreds of miles an hour to god-knows-where. The only thing they know is that they haven't touched down in a while, and since the captain is focusing only on the money coming in and not the fuel gauge, it is only a matter of time before the whole thing comes crashing down. And they will have nothing to show for their efforts once the inevitable happens.

hollywood42069
07-05-2014, 06:17 AM
If gree had a airline it would be owned by the Taliban. If you fly with gree it's because your the suicide bomber on the plane. Gree blows. I would like my free gold program gold from the month of April. 10 tickets and can't get ONE respond other then were looking Into it. what because I didn't spend $1000 I'm not entitled. Wtf. $800 is more then enough to qualify. They must have built the airline company out of all the gold we have all been screwed out of.

italo512
07-05-2014, 06:22 AM
If gree had a airline it would be owned by the Taliban. If you fly with gree it's because your the suicide bomber on the plane. Gree blows. I would like my free gold program gold from the month of April. 10 tickets and can't get ONE respond other then were looking Into it. what because I didn't spend $1000 I'm not entitled. Wtf. $800 is more then enough to qualify. They must have built the airline company out of all the gold we have all been screwed out of.
Another satisfied customer, I see you took the flight with the complimentary ass banging!!! Sorry about your gold situation

Oh oh Gree
08-05-2014, 03:32 AM
Funny now that I read they are booking hotel reservations

Bobar
08-05-2014, 03:33 AM
...they would make the tickets that expensive, that just couple of first class seats are booked, but flight takes off with hundreds empty seats in the other category.

aBigDek
08-05-2014, 10:54 AM
Howard Hughes would be the owner.

nocebl
08-05-2014, 02:35 PM
Switch your ios device to airplane mode

Max Power
08-05-2014, 03:49 PM
This thread is so full of win.

Stephane Sauve
10-23-2014, 11:13 PM
Gree = Air Canada...

Fyffe
11-10-2014, 05:56 PM
If Gree was an airline it would be TWA, not a good airliner and crashed a lot.

Tadaaah
11-10-2014, 07:02 PM
Locking. Flaming/Trolling/Insults to company.